you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
