i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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