I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
