I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
