Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
