so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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