you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
