i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
