is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Randomize
