you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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