So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
