Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
