apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
