Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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