as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
