I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
