it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Blood and glitter go together right?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
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