im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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