i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
