so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I AM VODKA MAN
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
