I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Holy sore nipples Batman
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
