thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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