Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
