I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
