i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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