What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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