What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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