Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
