she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize