So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
