party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
