Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Randomize
