I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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