I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I want a musical about memes.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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