All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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