I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
