i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
