Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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