it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
