my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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