Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
