He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
