At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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