he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
