I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
