come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
