I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
