At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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