you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
