I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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