I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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