so explain again why im purple
no
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
