i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
