According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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