Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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