I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
