Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
