I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
