Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
