Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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