At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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