erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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