the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
